Magic Man Ohhh! Magic Man
by Caterina Christakos
Picture every trite image of a magician that you have ever seen or heard and you will have Max. I forget which number he is but I will never forget him. He had the deflatable wand, one of life's little irony's as it turned out; that ever ready deck of cards; and a trick up his sleeve for any and every occasion.
The first twenty times, his slight of hand was astounding. But when the hundredth card trick came up, I have to say, I was ready to set the snooze button on my alarm clock - not that it would have gained any notice from him. He was fascinated - with himself . When he wasn't talking about what a great magician he was, the rest of his conversation focused on how good he looked or how much money he had. I swear I have never met anyone so in fear of leaving the vicinity of a mirror. And heaven forbid we forgot his comb at home, we had to turn the car around and go right back to get it. After all what if a hair got out of place in his convertible ????
The best though was when he took me to my favorite restaurant for Valentine's day. Now mind you, I told him how the owner and my father were good friends and that we had to behave with a bit of decorum. So what did this clueless Romeo do in one of the most exclusive Italian restaurants in Miami?
Let me paint you a picture: his hands, white table cloth, water and dishes everywhere. Yep you guessed it. Mr. Houdini wannabe attempted to yank the table cloth out from under our dishes. Between the shrieks of the other guests, my attempts to thrust money at the manager and yank the yutz out of there and his attempts to bow his way out, the evening was a complete disaster.
The best part though was when Mr. Clueless actually thought he was going to get some that night. Fortunately one of my larger male Italian friends was in the dorm visiting his girlfriend at the time. It was amazing. Without any formal magical training he managed to make Magic Man disappear, never to be seen or heard from again.
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