Making
Time for Romance
By Edel Jarboe
Connecting with your
partner emotionally and physically is a soothing balm for our
frazzled lives. A foot massage and a sympathetic ear give us the
chance to recharge our selves and our love lives. But after a
long day of putting out fires at work,handling numerous phone
calls, writing up that report, shuttling the kids back and forth,
cooking, doing laundry, walking the dog, etc., etc.- the last
thing on your mind is romance. With so much competing for our
attention it is easy to focus on everything but each other. So,
how do you find the time to connect with your sweetie? Make intimacy
a habit just like your morning coffee and bagel by adding it into
your daily routine.
1. Compliment
each other on the things you like and appreciate about each
other every day. Let your partner know that he/she is in your
thoughts and in your heart.
2. Create your
own simple rituals that show that you care about each other.
Find a way to connect during the day with a note, a phone call,
or an email.
3. Listen without
giving advice, taking responsibility, or trying to "fix" things.
Let your mate enjoy the luxury of knowing that you are really
listening. Only give feedback if your mate asks for it.
4. Talk to each
other about what's going on in your lives besides the day-to-day
running of the household or office talk. Share what you are
feeling.
5. Hold each
other. A simple hug can do wonders.
6. Instead of
the standard, "How was your day?" exchange, pick at least one
good thing about your day and share it with each other.
7. Give each
other a kiss when coming and going.
8. Laugh together
- often.
9. Plan a regular
"date" night once a week.
10. Say the words
"I love you."
You may be thinking
that your relationship is the one thing in your hectic life that
is stress-free, so why change things? While there is a certain
level of comfort and predictability in a long-term relationship,
the danger is that you may stop listening and may stop "being
there" for your relationship. Knowing your mate inside and out
can also give both of you the illusion that you can read each
other's minds. And this can lead to misunderstandings which, when
piled on top of each other, can lead to relationship disasters.
Talk to each other.
Listen. Ask questions. Don't assume. As you continue to grow and
change as an individual, so will your relationship. Keep the lines
of communication open by not tuning each other out. This doesn't
just apply to verbal communication either. If your mate feels
more like a roommate than a lover, perhaps you should incorporate
more "togetherness" into your daily routines. Love is in the little
things, in the day-to-day details of our lives.
Copyright (c) 1999
by Edel Jarboe. All Rights Reserved.
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About the Author:
Edel Jarboe is the founder of Self
Help for Her.com ,
an online self-help magazine helping you create your better life.
She also publishes a free weekly newsletter, which features advice
on goal setting, stress management, coping with difficult people,
and overcoming obstacles: Subscribe
and receive a FREE stress report.
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